Dealing with EQ

I have very low EQ. So my rule of thumb is not to put myself in situations where I will be tempted. This means not buying chips when I do the grocery, making my most tempting apps harder to access, setting time limits when doing things, etc. I know my tendencies so I’d rather not put myself in a spot where I have to choose. Most likely I will indulge. 

That’s why I’m amazed that my kids have such high EQ and self control. One time we were in a cinema and I gave my kids a bag of popcorn each. As soon as we sat down I asked them why they weren’t opening their snacks. I was obviously excited to eat. My son says “Mom, the movie has not started.” That’s right, there really is a time for everything. I teach them this but they practice it more than I do. 

Apart from self-awareness, what has worked for me is not being too hard on myself. I don’t believe in suppressing entirely because this results to bingeing and feelings of resentment. So in a way it’s a bit of mindful YOLO, if that makes any sense. This means you are fully aware about what you are doing, freely making a choice to satisfy your desire but doing so with clear boundaries and at the same time knowing your threshold and weakness.It takes practice and I struggle everyday. It also takes a genuine groundedness and self-acceptance. And it takes grace. 

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