Aiming to Fall Back

Today I got to validate the existence of a way of thinking that has continued to hold me back. I still cannot do a headstand on my own despite refining the fundamental poses that lead to this. So the teacher asked me to stay behind after class to practice a bit more. She taught me a different technique than my usual way of getting into an inversion. She asked me to lift one leg all the way up then lift the other, following the lifted leg. The moment both legs lift up, I falter, get super tense and end up falling back. She asks me to stop trying and instead sits me down and asks me why I think I am doing that. 

As I thought about the answer, a wave of clarity swept over me. I always fall back because I make sure that my legs are ready to catch me when I do so.  So I don’t lift but pull back. She says that I am unable to proceed because I continue to think of falling back when what I should think about is lifting up. It does not make sense to think about holding back when where I want to go is up. She assured me that I have all the foundation down pat and that my strength can lift me and keep me up there. I just have to shift my way of thinking. 

Such a fitting metaphor to how it is at work now. I can’t think of holding back when the goal is to find order while upside down. Uncertainty is a big part of work’s reality and if I continue to shun and avoid being in uncomfortable situations, I will remain to be in a state of not ever realizing my fullest potential. It’s not time to aim for safe and certain. It is time to set sights higher and to stretch the capacity to get there. To do so creates a space where excellence and flow thrive amidst the chaos. 

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