Today is the first death anniversary of one of my closest friends. When I learned about his passing, I silently cried in my cube. I mourned for the death of someone who was always full of life. I always admired how this friend of mine would do whatever he pleased, not being ashamed or worried about what other people would think (although he wanted people to always think of him as cool and pogi). He dressed as he felt like, danced as if everyone was watching and made corny jokes until they started being funny. He gave life his utmost.
His death also marked the day when I said to myself that I will not just let life pass me by. As I wept, I also cried for myself, for waiting too long to move on, for taking my time to go where I ought to be. I think his passing was instrumental in the next life decisions I made just a few weeks after. I set out to work on my life’s design and not just operate by default. I vowed to focus on what is essential- family, health, work that matters, friends I hold dear- and giving each the time that they deserve. I committed to more mindful habits and dedicated daily rituals. I learned to say no to things I really did not want to do and yes to opportunities for learning and growth. I found renewed energy for my running and training, passion projects that have made life more worthwhile. In other words, I took stock of my life and promised to live fully as much as I can.
I continue to be a work in progress as I figure out my life’s vocation. And I have come to terms with not fully knowing what it is I want to do. I am happy just being able to ask all my questions and happy that I am on my way to seeking the answers. I believe that I am where I ought to be, at least for now.
For all these I have you to thank, Jojo. You may have gone but your corny jokes, trying-hard cool looks and fancy dance moves will be forever remembered.