In my past life I wanted to do a lot of things, all at the same time, all the time. I didn’t like down time. For me it was a waste of time. I wanted to be up and about early. I could not keep still and had to be constantly moving. I liked being busy.
I think being with a laid back person and eventually marrying him has made a whole world of difference to my pace. My husband is the king of chill and I have come to terms and now enjoy just doing nothing.
Having kids has also changed my life velocity. With kids you can’t just breeze through your everyday and expect that things will happen according to plan. This I particularly experienced when traveling. So from a checklist, activity-filled traveler I have evolved into someone who is perfectly okay with sitting on a park bench with a take out bottle of wine while the kids are tiring them self out crazy running around.
But I think the biggest reason why I have come to embrace this love for slowness is realizing that things and experiences don’t always have to be “a lot” or “fast” or “now” to be worthwhile. That it is okay to choose the experiences that give you much joy and stick with those. And even do more of those. I also discovered that it is not about compromising or “lowering your standards” but it is about focusing on those that matter to you. It is important to note that the choice is based on your terms and standards, and no one else’s.
So the past couple of years has been about being more deliberate about spending one’s time. I have come to accept that I cannot do everything all at the same time. I am okay to say no to certain things even if they seem very interesting. I like spending my time with just the people I like to hang out with. I can count with my fingers the closest people I hold dearly. This also has its costs but I am okay to pay those costs since the ROI is so much more.
Now I am okay with doing nothing. If nothing means having more time to spend on things that truly matter.