I realized over the past two weeks that I feel strongly about people making a decision and choosing a course of action just because they can. On one hand it seems like a celebration of choice since one is empowered to make a call. On the other hand, just because we can doesn’t mean we should. There are times when we have to think through this exercise of power and authority. We have to take stock of our emotions and try to take our fragile selves out of the way, at least for a moment. Then we can make a decision guided by our empathy and compassion for others.
I was mulling about why I was so affected by this, to the point that I spent a couple of nights just bawling my eyes out in rage. I figured that maybe I’ve had instances in the past when people did things just because they could, not mindful how their quick decisions affected the lives of people. I fucking hate this maybe because I have experienced being a pawn of such behavior. I remember feeling that I was not in control of how my life will go and that it was up to someone to chart how my life will move forward. This left me feeling insecure and unsure. Taking out the sense of control in individuals affects morale and drive.
Brene Brown talks about rumbling with our emotions and understanding why we do things and why we feel a certain way. There is nothing wrong with rumbling with our anger, frustration and disappointment. There is nothing wrong in allowing ourselves to feel whatever it is we are feeling and paying attention to the inner workings of our heart as we sort out our messy emotions. I’m all for giving permission to the self to immerse ourselves as we own our situations. But what will not sit well with me is just letting these get the best of us, allowing our ego to lead us and do things just because we can.