Today marks the first day of my Boston to Big Sur training. I thought I could just pick up from where I left off six months ago but day 1 proved to be a struggle. I just could not relax into the run, maybe because I had expectations that it would not be difficult. Or maybe I was also pressuring myself to do well since I maintained a good level of fitness during the off season. But after the run, I chose to just give myself a bit of slack. It is the first day anyway and just like with everything, getting started is always the hardest part.
I did what I was told though, stuck to what the coach said I should do today. I really am such a soldier when it comes to these things. I go with what the program tells me. I trust that it was designed to take me to the performance level that I would like to have on race day. I think it is important to have this initial trust to be able to fully submit to something. Looking at the program though I felt daunted by it even if I was told that it was easier than the previous one I had. So I’ll just take it a day at a time, one foot in front of the other.
My running and the work that I do both teach me that things are not easy nor simple but that it’s not impossible for you to learn the ways to navigate it. Starting is hard because we are faced with what we don’t know. The stories in our head are much louder too during this time, seemingly taunting us if we really have the capacity to achieve what we said we would. The voices will always be there, the doubts perpetually present but if we just keep showing up, before we know it we have done what seemed beyond us just by choosing to plod on every single day.