I haven’t been seriously sick since I was 8 years old. That is why now that my immune system took a beating and am on mandatory house rest, I realized that I don’t know how to get sick. I’m out of sorts trying to put some semblance of control after facing yet another reminder that we can’t fully hold what goes on in our lives. More so since the illness that struck me has no known source. It just awakens when the body is rendered weak.
When I was told to rest and stay still for a week, I immediately set my mind in motion as I tried to map out how my week will go. I had specific tasks that I wanted done, stuff that I’ve been putting off that now I could do. But this morning’s experience where I passed out after a bad episode completely turned my well laid plans inside out. I initially wanted to start my week with a morning routine as a way of taking the reins of my week. But even this I could not do.
This whole experience is leaving me with a lot to think about. It’s a good thing that I am given this time to do so. I haven’t been the healthiest and most diligent in training lately so perhaps this contributed to the physical strain. Maybe I need to work on improving the frameworks of the other aspects of my wellbeing. It’s not just because I’m pretty stable in these things that I should take these for granted and not further hone. There always is room to get better. What I need to do is to find that comforting rhythm again that gives me such consolation and belief that everything will be alright. For now I’ll try to be content to simply keep still until I’m fully well.