Setting Your Threshold

We often get frustrated when some people take advantage of us because we are such understanding and good natured individuals. We feel bad when they criticize us or speak to us in a way that makes us feel small. But what we forget is that we are ultimately in charge of what we allow others to do to us. This threshold may vary from person to person but what is important to remember is that people will only keep on doing these things to us if we don’t say anything about it. Sometimes we have to put our foot down and tell people off. Or we simply walk away from situations that don’t honor and respect who we are. We are the main guardian of our hearts. 

Setting our threshold also means defining what is unacceptable to us, what our non-negotiables are. We articulate this in our words and actions and don’t assume that people will know. Deliberate communication of what is most important to us is necessary. This clarity sets our boundaries and also helps others understand how best to deal with us. The people who are closest to us have the capacity to hurt us the most and therefore it is imperative they understand what ticks us off more than anyone else. 

For people with high tolerance for a diverse set of people’s behaviors there is a risk of abuse. Same with people who exude empathy. I am one of these types and therefore it is valuable to know when to walk away when certain situations or even relationships don’t work out anymore. My threshold is quite high but when it is crossed I usually react by fleeing entirely. I can be unforgiving that way, something I need to work on a bit more. But it’s good to have a self awareness of these things because ultimately we are our wellbeing’s only custodian. 

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