I grew up with a sense of scarcity. There always isn’t enough. If I did not move quick enough I would end up with scraps, with nothing. I was always reminded that if I did not act fast someone else will get ahead of me. There was always a feeling of grasping and straining.
A lot of good has come out of this way of growing up though. It gave me a hunger and a strong drive to experience and live fully. It has also taught me independence, that I have to ultimately fend for myself. It has also gifted me with an expansive gratitude and appreciation for all that I have now. Perhaps that’s the reason why I like savoring moments.
This morning i was happy to wake up with a wave of abundance. It must’ve been because of a dream that I no longer remember but I felt a sense of having more than I ever asked for. Experiencing this in various ways has given me so much comfort because I know that I have the capacity to feel content and be in a state of enough. The grasping and straining may not go away and will always be a part of me but there is also a big part that will be grateful for every moment, every now.