I rarely complain. This applies to both the big and small things. I used to just keep quiet but now I have learned to express disappointment but say so in a way that it does not come out as whining or criticism. I’ve gotten better at packaging my frustration so it is relayed as actionable feedback. On one hand it’s good but sometimes people just have to hear that they are doing a shitty job so they learn and shift courses quickly.
I recently saw an article about challenging yourself to not complain and instead apply certain practices to replace the complaining voice. One of the things that struck me is replacing “I have to” with “I get to.” For someone who thrives in routine, I always think in terms of “I have to”-I have to write, I have to workout, I have to get the kids prepped up, I have to accomplish my 3 key things today, etc. I don’t feel heavy or forced doing all these things but framing it this way make it seem like these are chores I just have to do to get over and done with.
But when replaced with “I get to”, it springs from a sense of joy and gratefulness that we get to do all these things. I get to work, I get to build, I get to create, I get to bathe the kids, I get to read to them, I get to take care of my husband, etc. It changes something in me when I articulate it this way. These everyday, mundane stuff now become a gift that I give to others and to myself. So yeah, a simple shift, a tiny tweak goes a long way.