On Striving

This week is about striving. I have just started on a new venture and everything seems different and unfamiliar. I find myself feeling compelled to just go with what I was used to but then I remind myself that this is a good opportunity to do things differently. I’m simply allowing myself to take it all in. What I’ve been focusing more on is trying harder.

I know how it is to work hard and I believe that putting in the effort is the only way to get better at things. What I am a bit worried about is that even if I try hard it wouldn’t be enough. Or rather “I would not be enough”. Perhaps it is the newness that causes me to feel these waves of self doubt. It has not escaped me after all these years.

I don’t want to dwell on it as much so the best I can do is to try and show up everyday. As I do so I would like to not be as serious about my attempts and see the fun and play in what I am doing. I need to constantly nudge myself when I get too fixated on the outcome or on looking good. I would like to choose curiosity over correctness. And I would like to give first before I even ask for anything. I hope this openness coupled with the striving would do me a lot of good.

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