Friendship and The Self

We often hear about self care as a way for people to cope with the challenges of the times. I bristle every time I hear someone talk about how it is the most important thing that one should do before taking care of the worries of the world. I think it is because it has been overused and tied so much to external factors for one’s nourishment.

This morning, I listened to a conversation between Liz Gilbert and Rachel Cargle. They spoke about being a kind friend to one’s self instead. They offered a definition of taking care of one’s self framed as a deep and genuine friendship. It is about treating ourselves with trust and gentleness, just like how we would treat our best buddy. We speak to her honestly and candidly. More importantly, we always assure her that we’ve got her back, no matter what.

This is such a wonderful definition of taking care of one’s self that I would like to practice. It is one that is imbued with trust. I realised that a big part of my self talk is a lack of trust that I can deliver what I said I would. I end up berating myself when I miss yet another deadline or when I don’t get to follow through on a task I said I would do. But the friend in me trusts that I will stay true to my word and believes in me wholeheartedly. In turn, I will strive to work my darndest to not let her down.

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