I have not found my training rhythm after the London Marathon. Maybe it’s because I have not found the race that will get me to try again to gun for a Boston Qualifier. The plan was to qualify in London but I failed to do so even if I did a PR. When I talk about failing I say this without berating myself. It is simply stating the fact and accepting that it is what it is. 
I am in search for my next race. I have signed up for the Athens Marathon this November more because I have always wanted to run the original marathon and because I will be in Europe at that time for work (yes, I actively look for races to tie into trips to maximize the stay). I am trying to get into the Bali Marathon this August because I have free accommodations and award tickets already. But I have a sense that these two races are not my Boston qualifiers. Maybe it is because I have not mapped out a plan leading to these races.

For the mean time, I will try to get back into the groove of training again. I will incorporate cross training (swim and bike) to just have a well rounded approach plus continue to do yoga and Pilates to help on flexibility and strength. I would like to be more disciplined in my nutrition too so I can run with a lighter weight and better body mass composition. And more importantly I will strive to follow the program to the letter. I read somewhere that we never rise to the level of our expectations but we fall to the level of our training. Writing this on the blog helps me to be accountable and serves as a good reminder to follow through everyday on this commitment.

Suggestions for good BQ races is very much welcome! 

Lately I’ve been listening to a lot of TED Talks. Listening because I usually do it while in transit or working out. One of the most poignant talks that has resonated with me was Brene’ Brown’s “The Power of Vulnerability”. She speaks about how embracing vulnerability allows us to be truly  connected with ourselves and with others . 

Living Wholeheartedly 

One of the things she discovered was that people who are genuinely connected with who they are seemed to come from a space of wholeheartedness. They lived with a sense of worthiness and had the courage to be imperfect.  

“They had the compassion to be kind to themselves first and then to others, because, as it turns out, we can’t practice compassion with other people if we can’t treat ourselves kindly….They were willing to let go of who they thought they should be in order to be who they were…..”

I am reminded of all the retreats and seminars I have attended to discover my life’s purpose.  For years I struggled with not knowing what it is that truly drives me. I envied people who excelled in what they were doing  and who confidently knew what they wanted to do and to be. I think it happened over time and with age that I have come to terms with not knowing. It came with trying out different things to see what felt right for me. It also sprung from working on excellence on one thing and eventually seeing this grow into other aspects of my life.  That is why running has been a gift that I am always thankful for. It is one of the things that has stuck with me and that I have pursued with fervor. Doing so has allowed me to find joy and passion in other things as well. It has also taught me to be kinder and gentler to myself even if I have failed countless times.

Fully Embracing Vulnerability 

As she studied the “wholehearted”, she also found one thing they had in common. 

“They fully embraced vulnerability. They believed that what made them vulnerable made them beautiful. They didn’t talk about vulnerability being comfortable, nor did they really talk about it being excruciating. They just talked about it being necessary……They talked about the willingness to do something where there are no guarantees….. They thought this was fundamental.”

To be comfortable with being uncomfortable is something that the past year has taught me. And I am still very much a work in progress on this front. I can’t believe it has been a year since I decided to take a leap of faith in my career.  This was something that I have put off for several years because of the fear of uncertainty. I knew that I wanted to eventually be an entrepreneur but always thought that maybe it’s not the right time because I was not sure what I wanted to do. But it’s true that you will never know for sure until you take the plunge. Now I wonder why I did not do it sooner but I also do know that it happened at just the right time, when I was more settled, grounded and hopefully wiser.

Believing That We Are Enough

A lot of life’s hang ups come from a sense that we are not good enough. In my case it is about not being smart enough, not being driven enough, not being busy enough, not being unique enough, not being fast enough, not being talented enough, not being interesting enough….. and the list can go on and on. But who really keeps tab on our enough list and why are we beating ourselves up trying to do everything all at the same time?  What the heck is enough? I also don’t know but what I do know is that it is really okay not being all these. It is not to be mistaken for mediocrity but it is more about living life according to your own terms. 

“This is what I have found: to let ourselves be seen, deeply seen, vulnerably seen; to love with our whole hearts, even though there’s no guarantee is very difficult to do…..But believe that we’re enough. Because when we work from a place, I believe, that says, “I’m enough,” then we stop screaming and start listening, we’re kinder and gentler to the people around us, and we’re kinder and gentler to ourselves.”

So I am grateful for a year of embracing uncertainty and looking forward to being more comfortable with being uncomfortable.  

Looking forward to more new beginnings.

There are various reasons why we travel and for each reason, there is a specific kind of travel that best fits the purpose.

Solo Travel

I like traveling by myself. I used to do this a lot before I got married and was not scared to be a lone female traveler, taking all sorts of transportation. It is because of this kind of travel that I learned to keep my wits on as I explored unfamiliar places. It also made me comfortable with the idea of getting lost in a new city. I think I am also a more adventurous and spontaneous traveler because of traveling just by myself. Solo travel is a time to think and be comfortable with having one’s self as company .  Now that I have a family, solo travel is a rarity that I welcome. It is my time off to recharge or even reset which is very important with all the everyday demands. Solo travel also allows you to be more open to conversations with locals or even fellow travelers.

Business Travel

I am always on the lookout for new ideas and am constantly thirsty to learn more about things. Some people may not look forward to business travel but I love it for the insights gleaned from the interactions with business partners and contacts. Since it is official travel, my business spidey senses are always on and am more observant of things that I may apply to work back home. Sometimes this type of a trip also opens our mind to a whole world of possibilities. It is easy to think that we are doing such a great job but when we see ourselves side by side with other players abroad, it is a good wake up call. We realize that we have more to learn and have a long way to go. Another advantage is that your business counterparts are locals who can give you solid advice on things you can do while visiting their city.  Travel Dates

I think this is one of the things that have kept our relationship fresh after all these years. It is important to go away without the kids and take time to just be with each other. It does not even have to be a long trip. Sometimes a staycation will do. These trips have helped us to be each other’s best friend and I am happy to report that we are compatible even after several days or weeks of being together 24/7. So who takes care of the kids and will they be okay without you? That is the perennial question whenever we go on trips. At the start it left me with a feeling of guilt. But it is a good thing that we have built a good household support team and have grand parents who welcome the time to bond with the kids. So I look forward to these dates so I can hang out with my best friend.

Family Travel

We raised our children to love travel as much as we do. I think my son has been on board over thirty flights across four continents. We booked a plane ticket for my daughter even before she was born (so we were forced to come up with her name). It is not without any challenges but it just takes extra preparation and a shift of travel mindset – that it is okay to not do everything you set yourself to do or visit. This type of travel also allows you to see the world from the eyes of your tiny ones and to experience their wonder. It is a great way to teach children about being more open, more tolerant, more accepting and a whole slew of other things. And it is the best way to teach history, science, art, etc. The world is truly the best classroom.

Travel with Girlfriends

I also look forward to being with my girlfriends who have been my best buddies for over twenty years. With them you can just be yourself and act like you were fourteen again. Except now you have more stories about families, work, husbands, partners, etc. I laugh my hardest when I am with them and judge without being judged. We dress up to go out, put on each other’s make-up, shop, eat, do fun stuff together and just be girls all over again.

Racecation

In the past four years, a lot of our trips are racecations. Travel plus racing is the ultimate trip. Hence we fix our travel schedules around races. Unlike a lot of athletes, I like spending the week before the race relaxing and enjoying a place. So I happily eat (and drink) to my heart’s content and walk all day. The race itself is one of the best ways to see the city and I always feel so much privileged to have the chance to run around the city with all the roads closed just for you to run. Then we head back home right after the race, happy to go back to routines and the joys of daily life.

Yesterday I once again ran one of the greatest marathons in the world. I am often asked what my favorite marathon is and I answer it in the same way I would when asked what my favorite city in the world is- they are all different and memorable in their own way. Every race is special because they give you VIP treatment and close off the road so you can freely run around a beautiful city. The people go out into the streets, line the race course and cheer their hearts out.  A major logistical endeavor is carried out just to make sure the race is smooth and safe. They give you free food, drinks, a nice medal, a shirt plus they make sure you are wrapped warmly in a blanket. Plus they take nice action photographs of you.  They also mount the best running expos you have ever seen so runners will be like happy kids entering a toy store.

The London Marathon had all these elements, executed flawlessly and beyond expectations, living to it’s official hashtag of #goingtheextramile. First the expo had a lot of interesting activities for runners and their families. Abbott’s brand activation was particularly striking because they created a slow motion video for each of the runners and showed it on the big screen. They also had a Digital World Marathon Majors where they had simulations of each of the six races and you get to run a mile of this course on a treadmill. My heart raced when I saw their world marathon majors tribute board and I was reminded once again that I only had the Boston Marathon left to do. Transportation to the starting area was free and scheduled with clockwork precision.  It had a very organized and simple race start at the expansive Royal Greenwich Gardens, where you will find the meridian line. The weather may not have been as sunny as the entire week but I was just happy that it did not rain despite the forecast. The race course was amazing and you see all the quintessential London icons throughout. What was particularly awesome was running across the great Tower Bridge. It is not everyday that you can do that. It was also a gentle and mostly flat course which was lined by cheering crowds from start to finish.

My heart raced when I saw the World Marathon Majors tribute at the expo. 

Thousands of runners heading towards the starting line at Greenwich.

Even Thor was getting ready to race.

38,000 runners from all over the world crossed the Tower Bridge.(photo grabbed from Instagram)

People lined up along the entire course to support and cheer.

Just like in previous races, what makes the marathon special are learnings that I will remember for life.

There is no place I would rather be. 

This was a line from a song performed by a band during the race and it hit the right spot. The choice to run a marathon is yours alone. It is the fruition of a commitment made months or even years ago and this has brought you to this one race so you can perform and show the world what you chose to train hard for. And the moment is magical because it is your own and because you choose to be present as you take it all in, throughout the course.

Proud Pinoy Runner

You do what you came here for.  

Each person has his or her own reason for running a marathon. Each one’s journey is unique. For me, it was my first try to do a Boston Qualifier. I finished the race at 3:47, seven minutes more than the 3:40 cut off for my age group. I thought I would be disappointed for not making it on my first try considering how stubborn I am especially once I have set my mind on something. But I guess when you know that you have given your utmost in training and in the race, then you just revel in the experience and decide to just try again. I ran a solid and strong race but I must admit that I faltered on several occasions, at times getting distracted by thoughts of slowing down and also because of actual physical pain and hunger (I have yet to learn to subsist on energy gels and chews alone for more than three hours of racing). But every single time I reminded myself that I had to do what I came here for. Up until the last minute before my BQ cut off time, I felt that I could make it and so I ran despite the cramp rising on my leg. Only when I saw the clock strike 3:40 did I allow myself to slow down a bit, accepting wholeheartedly and without any regrets that I have to try again. It’s all part of the road to Boston.

Yes, i think this has been my best race so far but there is still room to improve and get better.

There is such a thing as physical limitation. 

I always believe in mind over matter but yesterday I was reminded that our bodies can be frail and unyielding too. I first felt the first signs of heaviness on my leg past kilometer 25. Then I felt the first signs of a real cramp past kilometer 35, I willed myself to continue running as fast as I could because I was afraid that I would not be able to move anymore if I stopped or even slowed down. The temperature was also dropping and I think this was one of the reasons for the leg muscles to further tighten. Then there was the pain on my left torso, maybe brought about by the fact that I was swinging my arms more to compensate for the diminishing leg strength. At kilometer 40, I felt my toes curling and hardening. My mind was telling me that I still had a chance to make it to cutoff and so I continued to run. Looking at my splits now, it was very clear that I had little chance at making the cutoff past kilometer 35 unless I did sub-5 minutes per kilometer. But I only allowed myself to accept that I won’t make it to cut-off when I saw 3:40 on my watch. So there may be physical limitations but I believe that these boundaries will be expanded or even surmounted with practice and improved training.

Last stretch of the marathon where I felt my leg on the verge of fully cramping up.

If first you don’t succeed, pick yourself up and try again.

As I was nearing the finish line, I was just happy. I expected to be disappointed but was extremely surprised that I wasn’t. I think my husband was worried that I would be frustrated and he asked me whether it was important that I still did a personal best time despite missing the cut-off. I said it mattered but I was looking more at the overall experience of the marathon and not just about doing a BQ or beating a personal record.  I was surprised that this was a truly honest answer. I actually crossed the finish line thinking what my next race would be so I can try again. I also remembered something a very dear friend, whose support has been unwavering, wrote:

 “Do not be afraid to fail.  Failure simply means you had the courage to try. It is only when you finally conquer your fear of failure that you finally gain the greatest freedom of all: the freedom to choose happiness for yourself. “

So happy because a sweet little boy thinks I’m a winner.

There is so much to be thankful for.

What makes the London Marathon extra special is that I was reminded once again how kind and generous people are. It was the first time I fund raised for a marathon and I am still overwhelmed by the generosity of friends and family who believed in me.  I chose a charity, Scope for Disability, a cause that was close to my heart and was able to exceed the target by raising GBP 1,909. Scope went the extra mile to make sure that their charity runners and their respective families were well cared for after the race. There is also Team Galon who took us in, welcomed and took care of us while in London. Help also came from brands like Superdry Philippines and the Primer Group of Companies who have always backed adventurers like me. I am thankful for an awesome race and an injury-free training as well as for the coaches who never cease to push me beyond limits.  Mighty big thanks again to Gabby for his steadfast support and understanding, for always being by my side one marathon at a time. I can never thank everyone enough and I’ll say thank you in the best way I know how- running with all my heart and trying my darnedest even if it hurts.

Team Galon supporting us all the way….even up to Stonehenge.

Can’t imagine running all these marathons without Gabs.

Scope made sure that runners and their families were well cared for during and after the race.

So what a great race journey it has been and my marathon day horoscope captured it all- There is only this moment. Make it magical.

Super happy to finish a great race.

And I am here in London! I can’t believe that I have made it on the fundraising front.  With the help of friends and family, we are on track to reach the goal to raise GBP 1,800 for Scope for Disability. It is my first time running for charity and I tried all sorts of things to hit the target. From talking to brands to selling stuff to posting online. I have a lot to learn and can get better at it but I am just happy that  all the scrappy efforts have paid off. Thank God too for social media for making things a little easier.

But amidst all these, it truly boils down to the generosity of people who believe in making a dream a reality. A lot of you remained anonymous, some not even wanting me to post anything about the contribution. I told you my story and you believed in it, believed that an ordinary person has a chance to finish all of the major marathons of the world. For the first time in my life, I found the courage to ask.  I was never one who would ask for anything but the clarity of purpose is very strong that I felt compelled to share it with the rest of the world. Thank you for the unwavering belief, thank you for your heartfelt generosity.

On the training front, I have also learned a lot about giving. Within us lie so much potential and there is power in knowing that. This is the hardest I have trained ever and I have never been more focused on my running. My body is exhausted but I have never been happier. And I have more to give and I will give it my all, run with all my heart on race day.  The training started with Boston Qualifer as the goal but throughout the process I have come to realize that it is ultimately about giving one’s utmost and pouring it into something worth believing and striving for. 

As I gear up for the marathon week, I am reminded of something a very good friend has told me time and time again. “There is a lot to give and happiness is being the gift that keeps on giving. ” 

Oh hello from London!

March was an interesting month. I started strong coming from a solid base, sticking as close as I could to my marathon program for the past couple of months. Then things got crazy and the rhythm just went up in the air. 

So I tried to squeeze a heavy training load into a limited period of time. At one point I even did one long run on the treadmill- all twenty six kilometers of that day’s mileage. It was no surprise that I got sick and was forced to rest. Not running for a week drove me nuts but the rest was a good break.  It was a blessing in disguise because I would’ve just kept on pounding until I got burned out. I was feeling the first symptoms of burn out but was just trying to brush these off. Sometimes my stubbornness can get in the way if left unbridled. 

It’s a good thing that I was able to bounce back right after the break, still with enough time to build mileage and then eventually taper. This has gotta be the most mileage ran ever for a marathon training and it has helped strengthen my legs to sustain faster speed for prolonged sessions. 

For the past major races, I always had a slower second half and I attributed this to tightening of leg muscles since I was not used to running at the upper range of my speed for longer time periods. But the mileage build up as well as the interval training has given me much more confidence to run at a higher speed and keep at it. Despite this, I can’t help but still feel nervous about the upcoming race. I just hope these jitters will do me some good. 

And it’s now race month, just a few weeks before the London Marathon. I still have more mileage to cover, not to mention another very long run to do. I really can’t wait to taper but I’m also excited to see how much more I can give to this training. 

Long quiet roads are my cup of tea for these long solo runs.

A few weeks back I chanced upon an article about the importance of having both routines and rituals in our everyday lives. Routine is defined as things we do out of habit. These are the regular activities that we do on autopilot. These give our days and nights some semblance of order, a stable platform that keeps us sane despite the shifts around us. It is what sets our rhythm.

On the other hand, rituals are things that we do to make the mundane into extraordinary experiences. Doing these seemingly ordinary activities lends magic into our everyday lives. It may be as simple as having a weekly alone time over lunch or having slow Sunday brunch with the family or just a quick drink with the hubby before going back to the household grind. For me these rituals are a form of reset that renews us as we navigate our day to day lives.

For the past month, I was reminded of how important routines and rituals are. The past weeks have been a bit trying and I found myself feeling “unhinged”. Starting a business, getting sick, traveling, moving offices- I think all these happening in the same month was a little too much for someone whose natural tendency is to seek order in chaos. I realized how much of a creature of routine I am and how much I have to learn in terms of being comfortable with being uncomfortable, especially now that I am starting something new. So as I try to reboot, I would like I share some insights that have guided me through this process.

Don’t Be Too Hard on Yourself.

It’s easy to just try to brute force your way back to routine. I tried this with my marathon training and it backfired on me. I missed training days due to different changes in my schedule and so I tried to pack it all into the remaining days or time that I had. I ended up feeling the first signs of burn out and I eventually got sick. I think getting sick was a blessing in disguise that forced me to rest. Otherwise my stubbornness would just leave me pounding on and risking full burn out that may even cost me optimal performance for a very important race.

Take It A Day at A Time

Things will not all be okay at the same time. Start with one thing then progress from there. For me it started with just waking up at the same time as I was used to since this routine was also affected by getting sick and traveling. I felt that this would be a strong first step to get back to my routine since having proper rest and waking up at the same time sets the tone of the day. I realized that rest is absolutely important in this reset and in our lives in general. I can go on and on about how rest and proper sleep has helped in building performance and productivity.

Find an Anchor Event to Reset

My daughter’s birthday reminded me of the importance of rituals. It never was our practice to spend on parties and instead we just go on a trip to celebrate birthdays or anniversaries or other important occasions. This yearly ritual is a strong reminder of things that are important and priorities that we choose over others. We also were fortunate to be treated to a birthday brunch at Il Ponticello this year and I think that this is another birthday ritual that we would like to continue. We love having slow leisurely breakfast on weekends and having this on special occasions makes it extra special.

Fun birthday Brunchisssimo at Il Ponticello for my little girl’s 4th birthday

Birthday girl makes her own Pizza Santino. The little personalized note is a really nice touch.

Remember Your Intent

When things are not clear or not going as planned, it’s always good to go back to the reason why you are doing something. Purpose is strong, sheds clarity and reinforces direction. Such is the case with my new career direction. We are at a stage where we are figuring things out and no one is really telling us what to do or where to go next. It’s entirely up to us. This is both scary and empowering. Admittedly, it can also be overwhelming and keeping sight of the why really helps put things in perspective. It also helps “simplify”decision making because an initial purpose has already been defined.

Get Support

There is nothing like talking to someone who has been through a similar situation or who has navigated through unpredictable waters. It’s a good thing that I don’t have to seek far and wide for this support. The hubby is a good resource for my start up worries plus I keep very close friends who are very generous with their time and experience. The mere act of articulating what you are going through helps in getting unstuck.

So amidst the seemingly busy lives that we lead,  let us find time to stop and find our rhythm through routines and rituals that bring sanity to an otherwise crazy world.

Spending birthdays in a new place is still my favorite ritual.

As usual, I dreaded opening my February training program knowing that the load will be much harder. As I glanced through it, I once again felt pangs of self-doubt- “Kaya ko ba ‘to?” So just like what I did in January, I took the training a week at a time, trying as much as I can to stick to the plan.

I think I accomplished around 90% of what my coach has asked me to do. Other work-outs I could not do due to scheduling concerns and out of town travel. But I tried as much as I can to squeeze my training into my sked. I even joined a fun run in Cebu to make sure I don’t miss out on my long run. I also focused on having quality workouts and not just mere compliance. But yes, the training is on the tough side.

I am happy to note though that there have been marked improvements especially in my speed. Seems like I am able to PR for various distances. Now I can do 10k a little under 45 minutes if I push hard , sub-1  for 12k and 20k at 1:45 minutes. I have also been able to hold the speed for longer distances, something that I have always been trying to do since my legs usually are the first to get tired after a fast start. In terms of recovery, I have been able to run strong despite running for three straight days. Of course strength training helps and I think doing swim training once a week has also helped build upper body strength so I get to have a full body workout throughout the week. I really think that quality training is not just about putting in the mileage but also making sure that one works on overall strength and endurance. This also includes proper fuel and rest.

But my coach says that I can push some more and I would like to do so too. It really feels good being this focused on my running and seeing results with every kilometer that I run. So on to the March training and 45 more days till the marathon!

Today is the first death anniversary of one of my closest friends. When I learned about his passing, I silently cried in my cube. I mourned for the death of someone who was always full of life. I always admired how this friend of mine would do whatever he pleased, not being ashamed or worried about what other people would think (although he wanted people to always think of him as cool and pogi). He dressed as he felt like, danced as if everyone was watching and made corny jokes until they started being funny. He gave life his utmost.

His death also marked the day when I said to myself that I will not just let life pass me by. As I wept, I also cried for myself, for waiting too long to move on, for taking my time to go where I ought to be. I think his passing was instrumental in the next life decisions I  made just a few weeks after. I set out to work on my life’s design and not just operate by default. I vowed to focus on what is essential- family, health, work that matters, friends I hold dear- and giving each the time that they deserve. I committed to more mindful habits and dedicated daily rituals. I learned to say no to things I really did not want to do and yes to opportunities for learning and growth. I found renewed energy for my running and training,  passion projects that have made life more worthwhile. In other words, I took stock of my life and promised to live fully as much as I can.

I continue to be a work in progress as I figure out my life’s vocation. And I have come to terms with not fully knowing what it is I want to do. I am happy just being able to ask all my questions and happy that I am on my way to seeking the answers. I believe that I am where I ought to be, at least for now.

For all these I have you to thank, Jojo. You may have gone but your corny jokes, trying-hard cool looks and fancy dance moves will be forever remembered.