I am often asked what my favorite marathon is. More so after running all six of the majors. I always say that each one is different and special in their own way. Some are special because of the course, others because of the crowd support while others because of how you qualify for it. But I can now answer this question more straightforwardly after running the Big Sur International Marathon. This is the most beautiful race that I have ever run. And also the hardest.

Getting to Big Sur was part of what makes it exciting. We started in LA, taking the Pacific Coast Highway (PCH) from Santa Monica and then driving north towards San Francisco. The PCH is one of the world’s most scenic highways. It is hard to take a bad photo along the way. You lose track of time as you take in the vastness and the views, staring in awe as the majestic mountains meet the powerful Pacific. One can’t help but feel humbled by all this immense beauty. Even when we had to take a long detour because of the severed bridge in Big Sur, we were treated to wonderful vistas as the sun cast a golden hue on the landscape. Words are not enough to describe it.

We stayed at a house-on-the-hill in Carmel Valley, a good location since the finish line is just a 15 minute drive from there. A day before the race we also explored other nearby areas driving from Carmel Valley to see its vineyards then to Carmel-by-the-Sea with its quaint shops and beautiful beach to Monterey and its lively marina and wharf then to Big Sur. The road to Big Sur is only open for 26 miles before you had to turn back. The full stretch will reopen June 2017, after the restoration of the broken bridge.

I never do a recon before a race because I like being surprised but this time around, the course was part of our day’s sightseeing  itinerary. So we drove along the 26 miles and I felt my hands getting clammy and I suddenly felt nervous because of all the hills that we passed. I knew that the undulating terrain of steep uphills and downhills would not be easy.  A tinge of fear swirled amidst my excitement. Apart from the challenging course, I have been experiencing a nagging pain on my right hip for over a week now. The tightness has seriously been giving me doubts on whether I can even start the race.  I could not even run a full mile a few days before without walking to shake off the pain. So you can imagine the major jitters I was feeling while driving down the course.

But it’s hard to stay that way when you know that you will be running one of the world’s most beautiful courses. It is not everyday that they close off this scenic highway just so you can run along it. So I chose to be grateful for this unique opportunity instead of succumbing to the nervousness that started to simmer within me. Signing up for this, I said that it would be a great recovery and recreational marathon after Boston. Of course I did not research about it to know that it would not be an easy recovery run. I vowed to just simply enjoy the course and take it all in.

Race day starts with runners getting dropped off at various bus pick up points. It is an end to end race that is why all participants had to be shuttled to the starting line. No other vehicle is allowed except for the buses. Our bus left at 4am and we made our way to the starting line in near darkness because there were no streetlights along the highway. While on the bus, I must’ve heard the words marathon and Boston a thousand times. This made me smile because I knew these people were very much like me, only with their own unique stories. I quietly listened to the soft chatter while eating my rice breakfast.

All runners got dropped off at the Big Sur Station where a starting village was set up to provide breakfast for everyone. An interesting thing about this marathon is that they took a lot of effort to make it fun and funny. For instance, they set up sufficient portalets around the village. But they knew that even if it were enough for everyone, runners would spend time lining up. So they made the waiting fun by posting funny signs on the portalets’ doors. It also was a conversation starter among the runners lining up to use the loo. You see a lot of this attention to detail along the race course.

Because it is a relatively smaller race compared to the bigger city races I have joined, the starting waves were not as strict. You just choose which wave you want to join depending on your expected finishing time. After waiting for almost two hours, we were asked to make our way to the starting line where I joined 4000 runners, 52% comprised of women. I was feeling a little worried still because of the nagging pain and also because I was told that the weather along the course changes abruptly. I layered on three tops(one was a throwaway), put on my windbreaker, wore my compressions and put heat packs on my chest, torso and hands. I wanted to be extra ready for the cold. I also overheard a pacer saying that you have to be smart when you run Big Sur because here, things just change so fast and you don’t know what to expect. I smile at this description which is very much akin to life in general. It is at this point that I also realized that I forgot my watch. But I took this as a good thing so I can just relax and simply run.

The race starts on a downhill lined by forests. I took it nice and easy to make sure that my hips and legs would be properly warmed up. I was just happy that my hip joints were not buckling and that they seemed okay. So I eased into the run just absorbing the views and the energy. People around me were muttering how wonderful the course is. I couldn’t help but nod my head in agreement.

Then the foliage opens up with a view of the mountains and the coast. Now you have grand views on both sides of the road. I realized that more than the run, this is what I came here for. This was the reason I’ve been trying for the past four years to get into this race. I was only able to do so because I went through the Boston to Big Sur lottery, a program that allows Boston runners to get a slot at Big Sur. It was definitely worth the wait and the effort.

The undulation was quite mild until we get to Hurricane Point. This was a very long uphill climb that ends with a view of Bixby Bridge, Big Sur’s iconic landmark. You know you are nearing the highest point of the uphill when you start to hear piano music. A pianist, playing classics and favorites on a shiny grand piano, was the midway mark of the race. This was definitely a treat, never seen before in any of the races I’ve run. The entire course is actually dotted with different musical genres. There were school bands, rock bands, jazz groups, brass performers and taiko drummers. There were also individual performers playing the harp, accordion, bandolino and guitar.

Compared to city races, there were no big crowds cheering you on. Here you are just one with the vastness, just a speck but also part of this immensity. The course gets a little trickier after the challenging uphills of the first half. My legs were doing well until mile 14. Then they started to feel tired, growing heavier with every mile. It remained to be an uphill-downhill course, not as long as Hurricane Point but many little hills that definitely took a toll on my legs. The views distracted me from the pain and I just replaced my exhaustion with gladness. I was just happy I showed up and saw all this.
On the last two miles, I had the chance to talk to the CEO of the Big Sur Marathon and I shared with him that this was the most beautiful course I’ve ever had the chance of running but that it was also the hardest. He chuckled and said, “But it’s worth it, isn’t it?”. He has ran all 32 Big Sur marathons and every time he does, he is still amazed by it. He shared that the race is managed by 7 full time staff, 14 board members and over 2000 volunteers, both young and old alike. You could sense the pride in his voice as he spoke about the work that gets into staging one of the world’s sought after races. It is so popular that even legends like Bart Yasso was there running alongside us.

On the mile 25 mark, I just had to laugh out loud when I saw that the last stretch was a steep uphill. I managed this far by walking the last three hills and running as soon as it flattens out and goes downhill. My legs actually felt stronger the last 3 miles and I was positive I would finish strong and running. And I did! I ran  all the way to the finish line, happy to have finished a tough marathon.

As I crossed the finish, I uttered  a prayer of gratitude for once again giving me the strength and the will to finish something I started. I am reminded that all great things don’t come easy. I am just humbled to have run this course while discovering more about myself in the process. I realized that I can improvise and adapt, that I can withstand pain and replace it with more positive thoughts. But more than anything, I felt that I could be part of something worthwhile and meaningful if show up and pour my whole heart into it. I learned that it’s not about mind over matter. It truly is heart over matter.

Each marathoner has a story, a reason why each of us run 42.195 kilometers. As I was going around the starting village, I mulled on this thought. I wondered about the reasons that brought over 30,000 of the world’s strongest runners to the Boston Marathon. 

Some run for a cause, others to pay tribute to a loved one. Some may be getting over an illness while others do it to celebrate a long healthy life. There are people who run to get over the stories in their heads and others who just want to create memories worth remembering. 

Different tales, different reasons for why we run and in this case, why we worked hard to run Boston. I have my own story and in that story I get to accomplish something worth doing with all my heart. I asked my best friend right after the race, while in terrible post-marathon pain, why I subject myself to this suffering. I answered my own question- I chose to run because it is a beautiful way to remind myself that if I focus on something, doing it wholeheartedly everyday, I can succeed. The practice to keep going no matter what is the most powerful lesson that the marathon has taught me. It fuels the desire to finish that  which I start on, giving me the confidence that yes I can accomplish something. I see it as a proof of concept, a validation of the capacity for excellence. 

The Boston Marathon is a celebration of my ten years of running. When I started, we were just practicing on top of a car park building in Makati, going round and round as we dreamed of possibly joining a marathon. I still marvel when I think about how in the course of one decade,  I have traveled far and wide to just run. I have done sixteen marathons all over the globe but it is special to celebrate the tenth year running at the world’s most prestigious marathon. There’s nothing like being Boston Strong.

This was what I held on to as I went through a tough race this week. They say that the Boston Marathon is tricky and you never know what to expect. I didn’t realize that it would be the hardest major marathon that I would ever do. It sets off as a cheery pleasant day before a wave of jetlag hits me. Then it cycles back to a happy start, I get to find my rhythm then the hills start to come, then the temperature rises. There are downhills but those start to become painful too after my body has gone through a beating, on the verge of cramping up. I feel all sorts of sensation then I suddenly don’t feel any on my toenails. I find myself in a state of flow, as if time has stopped and I am immersed in the moment and then I suddenly can’t get out of my head as I overthink things. Then I swing and go on a high, buoyed up by the energy of the crowd. My eyes well up and I start to tear up and I hear the rising roar as I approach the finish line. Such a roller coaster of emotions, a microcosm of life across 42 kilometers. 

What kept me together was that I knew I would finish no matter what. I was ready to drag myself to the finish line in whatever state I found myself in. It is this strong and unwavering belief in a heart that beats steadfastly, in a will that is unrelenting that pushed me to just put one foot in front of each other. I saw this as well in the thousands of runners who like me also run their own stories on this historic Boston path. I saw this in the energy of the crowd as they went out into the streets to support every runner. I witnessed this in the volunteers as they painstakingly made sure that the marathon was a great experience for everyone. It is the indomitable human spirit that ties our stories together. 

This is why the marathon is such a wonderful gift. It is that one day when we are one heart as we celebrate running and all that it stands for. And it stands for a celebration of life. As I stood at the finish line clutching my Boston Marathon medal and my World Marathon Majors six -star medal, I am just grateful to be blessed with this gift. I stopped and silently uttered a prayer of thanks for the privilege to be Boston Strong. 

Yesterday I ran the Boston Marathon. I’ve been trying to qualify for the past couple of years and so running it was oh so sweet. But I did not realize that it would be tricky as well. Here’s an account of the race. 

Heading to the Start

Since a lot of the main roads were closed, we drove through the beautiful back roads. It was a scenic drive and the weather was just perfect for a run. Our friend and gracious host, David Zarraga, made sure that I got to the starting village ahead of time. Car driven runners got dropped off half a mile from the village but I was just happy to have a pleasant walk while reflecting on how grateful I was just to be in Boston. I also mulled over how everything about this marathon operated in clockwork precision, watching the school buses driving by in batches as scheduled. 

I got to the village and it’s like one huge picnic. Runners found their own spots eating, hydrating and just chilling before their waves got called to the starting line. There are four waves, and you are assigned to each depending on your qualifying time. Food and drinks were abundant and available for everyone to partake as they waited.  

Getting Over Jetlag

I was in high spirits and then suddenly jetlag hits me. I arrived in Boston before lunch on Saturday and so I barely had enough time to get over my jetlag. So I found myself a sunny spot to sit on as I tried to recover from it. Then I hear a voice calling my name and it’s fellow Pinoy runner Kim Atienza with Anthony Pangilinan. Such a blessing to hang out with them and chat away, distracting me from how I was feeling. I headed to the starting line feeling much better. 

It was a bit of a walk to the start but I did not mind as I mentally pumped myself up  and just absorbed the vibe. It’s interesting that for the last two waves, it was mostly women that it seemed like an all-women’s marathon. I was just happy listening to all the excited chatter around me. 

I had to feed off this energy as I tried to shake off the sluggish jetlag feeling. Only after the fifth kilometer did I sweat out the weird sensation. I was careful not to look too far ahead because the up and down motion of thousands of runners made me nauseous. It was also a bit tight and crowded so I valiantly pulled myself together so I would not pass out. I seriously got a little worried that I would not be able to finish. Good thing it came to pass and I was able to find my rhythm.

First Signs of Cramps

I’ve always been a steady runner and this was the same strategy I wanted to use for the Boston Marathon. So I said despite the elevation changes I will try to keep a consistent pace, not tempted to run fast during the downhill nor walk on the uphill. My first half was as expected. But I had to remind myself constantly to get out of my head, not worrying so much about the jetlag, the changing terrain and the upcoming hills. It was the crowd and their support and cheers from kilometer one that really helped.

Then at kilometer 25 I felt a niggle on my right ankle. It seemed as if I had a really tight knot on that part. My ankle buckled several times and I was worried that if I pushed it will just further tighten up. On the other hand I was also worried that if I stopped and walked it would just completely harden and I won’t be able to move it entirely. So I just kept moving but markedly slowed down. From here on I took it a mile at a time. 

Hilly and Hot

I was warned of the long climb heading to Heartbreak Hill. So I mentally prepared myself to slug it out. I was just muttering to myself, “one foot in front of another, you trained for this, you are Boston strong!”. It helped that I saw all the Boston Strong signs carried and worn by the spectators. The funny hand-drawn posters propped up by the crowd also gave a comic relief. 

The temperature also rose as the elevation rose. I could see people struggling with both the heat and the hills. The expected temperature was between 12-15 degrees Celsius but it felt much warmer than that. I just tried to be as steady as possible, hydrating at every aid station. I was just focused on consistency that I didn’t even realize that I had already reached the top of Heartbreak Hill. I must’ve squealed like a little girl when I saw the “Top of the Hill” signs. 

Then it was mostly downhill. But this was hard because I was also restraining to go fast for fear of pulling the already tense ankle. My toes were also painful at this point. I was afraid of what I would discover when I remove my socks. But nonetheless I just kept going as steadily as I could muster. 

Energy of the Crowd

There were cheers from start to finish but  the crowd’s energy picked up at each of the centers of the towns we passed, from Hopkinton to Boston downtown. They cheered us on, set up aid stations where they gave out food, drinks, wet towels, etc. The people, young and old alike, went  out to the streets clapping and shouting, some carrying signs to boost the runners forward. 

But when you hit the last mile from the finish line, the crowds’ energy was something else. Both sides of the road were lined with so many people all pumped up. I had a hard time breathing as I forced myself not to bawl and cry as my energy was lifted by the roar of crowd. 

Finishing on the Blue Line

On the last mile, there’s a blue line painted on the race course all the way to the finish line. I decided then to run on that line, fists pumping in the air, knowing that the world’s strongest runners also ran along this blue path. The  shouts grew stronger when they saw that I had my arms up, sprinting towards the finish line. I really felt that I had wings. 

I crossed the finish line knowing that I did not hit my target times but I was just happy and grateful to have run such a historical course. The Boston Marathon is really one of the world’s greatest races. It was an honor to have shared the course with the Filipinos who worked hard to get here and to all the other men and women who are Boston Strong. 

It’s been a while since I went on a long trip. I used to maximize my leave days to get away. Each month I had to escape to find respite somewhere else. But for the past two years this has not been the case. Perhaps it really helps to find an alignment in personal and professional interests. Or maybe I’m just a happier person now with no real need to retreat so I may reset. 

This trip will revolve around two of my passions- traveling curiously and running wholeheartedly. It will be marked by three races that are all so interesting. First stop is the world’s oldest and most prestigious marathon in Boston. There’s nothing like sharing the course with some of the strongest runners from all over the globe, all sharing in the history of this race. The second one is a fun one at Disney’s Star Wars Half Marathon. Who wouldn’t want to run alongside this epic’s most loved characters or served water along the run  by Storm Troopers? The whole trip will be capped off at one of the most scenic courses in the world, Big Sur. It is a small marathon but so hard to get into because of its spectacular route. 

This trip is also special because we get to spend time with old friends who we have been wanting to visit for so many years. We have also tried to weave meetings with people and events we can attend to make the trip a learning opportunity as well. I like how it is structured but remains fluid since it leaves a lot of room for flexibility. Being opportunistic when it comes to travel is something that I would like to practice on this trip. 

It’s also great to travel with my husband again. It’s a good thing we are best friends so we can deal with each other’s crazies despite being together 24/7. We genuinely like to hang out and also do stuff so I look forward to a mix of busy and chill days.  Just happy to be on the road again, to run, learn and be inspired. 

There’s not much to do a week before a race than fine tuning to make sure that the body and mind are in tiptop shape on race day. So this week I finally went for a much needed back check up. My upper right back has been bugging me for almost two years already but I have just gotten used to the discomfort. It is the first part of my body that gets tired and strained not just during training but as I go about my day. There is a lot of energy wasted as I try to align and stretch it during practice. So I decided to get some work done on it to make sure that all the little kinks are managed before I leave for Boston.

I’ve always thought that the pain was caused by an imbalance in my hip that pulls my right shoulder forward, causing the right part of my back to compensate for the misalignment and that in turn causes the tightness in the neck muscles. I was surprised to find out that what caused all this strain is the tight neck muscles. What I thought was the effect is the root cause. Marvin Sevilla, one of the lead specialists at ProHealth Sports and Spinal Physiotherapy Centre, explained this to me and administered therapy that effectively loosened the knots. 

It was my first time to try this newly opened facility at the Centuria Medical Tower and so I was surprised as well when I learned that it has been operating in various parts of the world for  17 years, offering back and neck pain treatment, spinal rehabilitation and occupational and sports therapy. I’m just happy I went because I have been trying to manage this pain by doing various exercises but not really getting to the real cause. So the pain has gone away for now and I hope that it will continue to be this way even after the a prolonged period. This is just the right fine tuning that is necessary to be race ready. 

Yesterday was a day of consuming content about this topic. It was a coincidence that the wonderful stage play I watched complemented the On Being podcast I listened to while I was running. On the podcast, the conversation was between Alain de Botton and Kristy Tippett. They spoke about how relationships should start with this – “How are you crazy? I am crazy this way.” This would dispel any notion of the perfect relationship because it presupposes that we are tricky individuals who might not be easy to fathom. It shines the limelight on the good enough partnership that is far removed from the feels of romantic love. It situates long term relationships in the context of daily, ordinary life.

On the other hand the show Vibrator Play depicted multilayered relationships and how these are viewed against the lens of a  society at the cusp of a big shift due to the discovery of electricity. Considered a Victorian sex comedy, it uses humor to convey the various dimensions of love, especially those that are commonly overlooked or taken for granted in adult relationships. So many nuances portrayed across several characters but the most striking message for me was about rediscovering the self, craziness and all, within the relationships that exist. And this includes not just marriage  but deep friendships as well. 

As we find ourselves cultivating lifelong partnerships, we realize that these are the most complex of relationships and this takes hardwork. It takes effort to empathize with another and loving is essentially an attempt to put ourselves in the shoes of another, especially during times when we are on the other side of the negotiating table. It also takes so much out of us to speak with politeness, which is an attempt to hold privately held feelings at bay to keep the peace and stability. So tiring, but also so fulfilling to be part of  such deep relationships that spring from the constant choice to keep it together. And yes there is no other way. 

Last night I was reflecting about the various life themes that shaped my choices for the past few years. These revolved around practice, mindfulness, prayer, solitude, presence, focus, clarity, curiosity, uncertainty, growth, movement, self care and integration. Seems like these are disparate but for some strange reason I sense a thread that binds them. I’m not fully sure what it is but I have a few hunches. 

Perhaps I am called to create something that weaves these together, finding that intersection that gives me purpose and brings value to the world. It might have started with writing about these topics on the blog. I realized that I have written so much over the past few months. Some posts may sound like previous ones but this just means that these subjects have been consistently resonating. So maybe it’s related to writing.

Perhaps I am also called to share myself more by way of being more out there. If given a choice, I would rather be working on the sidelines, content with blending in and having someone else take the limelight. I’m a very good supporter and I know my place in a scenario when I have to give way to a lead. But the tug seems to be in another direction. It is scary but lately I’ve also been trying to experiment with leaning into my fear. The moment I feel the first stirrings of self doubt, I just take a step forward to do it. 

I don’t know but I’m excited how this will unfold. Maybe I’m getting these feels because I’m about to finish a passion project I’ve poured my being into for a few years. So my little heart is getting antsy once again. For the mean time, I’ll just stay open:)

This is an article that I shared with the Abbott World Marathon Majors team when they asked to include me in their Boston Marathon spotlight. I wanted to post this on the blog as well:)

The dream to run all the World Marathon Majors (WMM) started in 2012, after I ran my first major marathon in Berlin. I chose to ran there because the race happened around the same time as Oktoberfest and I thought it was a great idea to mix two things I love – interesting travel experiences with running.  I did not know that an elite circle of the world’s biggest races existed until I saw signs about it at the marathon expo. I had such a great time running Berlin and enjoyed the vibe of a great city race that I started reading more about the other major runs. I also was curious how a Filipina full time working mom and wife can find the time and the means to run all over the world. I also started to feel the first stirrings of a passion project in the making – the “Road to Majors”.

So towards the end of 2012, I started to plot out the races that I would do in the next four years.  I have already been rejected twice for the New York Marathon since I started entering the lottery in 2011 so I said I would just go for the guaranteed entry in 2014. I checked other marathons that I could get into just by signing up. In 2013 I got into the Chicago Marathon and I absolutely loved that experience and did my PR at 3 hours 50 minutes. This further firmed up my resolve to finish all majors.

I got into the 2014 Tokyo Marathon via lottery on my first try. They opened the registration August 2013 and although I knew that it was hard to get a slot, I decide to push my luck. The lottery was ten times oversubscribed but I was happy to get in. This marathon was the latest addition to the WMM and it is good that we now have one in Asia, giving more opportunities to Filipinos to run a major without traveling so far. On the same year, i finally got my much coveted entry into the New York Marathon. There is nothing like running the world’s biggest race and absorbing the immense energy and support of the crowd. Finishing on a high,I said nothing will stop me from going for the remaining races.

In 2015 I ran London Marathon via charity, raising funds for Scope. It was a charity that was very close to my heart since its advocacy was disability. I grew up with a mom who never walked, let alone run, a day in her life because she was born with disability. So this race was extra special as a tribute to such a strong woman who raised me. I also tried to use this as my first shot at getting a Boston Qualifier(BQ) but was not able to do so. This failure was another kindle that I used to strengthen my drive for this passion project.

So I decided to find the physical and mental training that will get me a Boston Qualifier. I signed up for the 2016 Tokyo Marathon with the intent of making this my qualifying race. I tweaked my running program so it was more smart, specific and targeted given that I also had very little time to train. Then I followed this program to the letter.  What was also different this time was that I put in the effort to integrate my running with a mindfulness practice. I believe it is this mental training that allowed me to finally get a BQ when I finished the race at a pace of 3 hours and 36 minutes, 4 minutes faster than my qualifying time. I remember seeing the Six Star medal on exhibit at the Tokyo expo and gazing tearfully at it as I vowed to qualify so I get to finish all six. And I did that.

In a couple of weeks, I will be running the Boston Marathon. This five-year “Road to Majors” projects will culminate at the world’s oldest  and most prestigious marathon. I get to run with the fastest and most talented runners from around the world. I get to share the finish line with the many ordinary individuals like myself who dared to dream, racing with all these people who chose to just get one foot in front of each other. As I prepare to run Boston, I am reminded of how much running and racing has shaped me over these years. It has allowed me to transpose the same dedication and rigor into the other aspects of my life. It has taught me the value of practicing no matter what, believing that this consistency will lead to self-transformation. It has given me a perspective against which I view habits and consequently, happiness. It now is compelling me to put myself out there more so I can help others too as they go through a similar journey. We all can really achieve our own version of the six stars, we just gotta show up everyday and find the opportunity to create our own personal journey.

I realized that I value consistency and that it is something that I try to uphold too in my everyday practice. I think there is much to be said about deliberately choosing to do a task day in and day out even if all fiber of your being rebels against it. They say that if you don’t feel like doing it that is when you should do so. People tend to not stick to something for fear that they won’t be able to sustain it, that they are just setting themselves for failure anyway. The thought of doing an activity repeatedly for long periods is daunting and that’s totally understandable. But there is a self transformation taking place when we choose constancy.

I listened to Kamal Ravikant, author of Rebirth and Love Yourself, talk about this topic in a chat with James Altucher.  He shared his journey as a pilgrim, walking the Camino de Santiago in Spain for almost eight months. He asked fellow pilgrims how to go about it and it was the same answer, one foot in front of another. A little step at a time is what it takes to get to whatever destination we set for ourselves. There is really no other way, no shortcut. We just get better at it as we consistently do. We rise up from our funk faster as we keep trying. 

Consistency breathing life to transformation is what I strive and aspire for. There is a cleansing quality to having these daily rituals and routines that make up a part of our days. The parts that are more fluid can go several ways and in different directions. But if we have a hold on at least a portion of how our daily lives flow, the transformation can cascade to our other layers. 

It is not my birthday month nor is it the new year but I’d like to revisit this year’s theme. I was reminded by this as I was listening to a podcast featuring WordPress’ CEO Matt Mullenweg. His current theme is stillness, symmetry and following the yellow arrows. Maybe it’s also the end of the first quarter and I’m in the midst of a lot of things that is why  I have this need to take stock of where I’m at. I think mine is about growth, learning and deliberate movement. 

Growth because I am in that awkward stage of finding my footing in the work that I do. I am fully engaged because of the many moving parts but also feeling unsure and even sometimes unhinged. It’s like being an adolescent all over again, thriving in the novelty but also seeking to retreat from it when things get a little too overwhelming. 

But there lies the learning. I am thirsty for knowledge and experiences. I am more curious than usual. I am not as afraid as I used to and just ask questions. I have yet to get over my hesitation in networking events but even with that I have gotten much better. I’m consuming content, absorbing as much as I can and trying to apply bits and pieces of these in work, training and life in general. My senses are heightened as well as I learn from various fronts. 

But I think deliberate movement is a necessary complement to both growth and learning. Choosing what to take in and which direction to take ourselves towards give a framework that does not lend life to just randomness. Being conscious about how we do things and more importantly why we do what we do guides  our actions. Having this sort of compass grounds me and keeps me centered despite the pulls of daily life. So here’s to growth and hyper learning anchored by purposive living.