Today’s reading of excerpts from the book A Life of One’s Own prompted a deep reflection on what a life led with continual mindfulness means. Lately I tend to forget how to live like this. It’s good to be reminded. In fact keeping this in mind is a practice in itself. It is important because this is a way of living guided by what’s here and now  while at the same time moved by the compass of discovering one’s most authentic self in one’s life work. 

How to get back on track then? I’ll start with having a hold again of my mornings, deliberately taking time to ease into the day, with rituals that clarify the day’s direction. It is also asking myself what the most important things are so I may focus my energy on these. Writing daily will help as well. It is also about reflecting as I do and not simply about going through the motions of habits and to do’s. The practice of self-reflection helps in crystallizing those things that genuinely give us our daily joys. 

I would like to be keen to these instances of happiness. I want to remember moments where I am most myself, not straining or grasping to be how I (and others) think I should be but just being. A bit philosophical but I think each one of us has a sense of this state of the genuine self. It is when we let go of ourselves and experience fully that we have a more intimate understanding of it. It starts with a daily choice of presence in what we do, a dose of continual mindfulness everyday. 

I heard this word first from Ray Dalio while he was being interviewed on the Knowledge Project podcast. I’m not sure if it is  a real word but it pretty much sums up what I’d like to be in this world. To experience is to take things in with openness and acceptance. It is a way of learning by embarking on an act of doing. I think this is the best way for me to learn. 

The past few weeks have been full of interesting experiences, both deliberately chosen and totally unexpected. I actually like this combination, the variety both excites and centers me. On one hand I want to be able to decide on experiences that I would devote my limited resources on. On the other hand,  I would like to be receptive to what the universe chooses to bestow upon me. It’s another one of those polarities that you gotta be able to hold in your head to thrive and live fully in this world.

There truly is so much more to experience in this world. I may not maintain a bucket list of must dos but I do know that I’d like to be in the midst of memorable moments. My curiosity is just insatiable. And whatever captures my fancy need not be all that big and novel. I remind myself constantly that the simple rituals and routine, the ordinary and mundane can all be quite the experience. It is a mindset of adventure and wonder that makes  a whole world of difference.

When I talk to people about what I am doing I can’t help but brim with excitement. This particularly shows when I speak to both clients and employees. I’d like to think that the energy that I exude and share is infectious, this is good for business. But more than this I believe that when people see someone bringing her full self in the work that she does they too would like to strive to find this space in their lives. More people wholeheartedly living is good for the world. 

Sharing your enthusiasm is a genuine kind of giving. It is a generous opening that invites others to also offer their true selves and be present in that exact interaction. There is nothing like the magic that springs from an authentic effort of reaching out to one another, treating with kindness and compassion. It is also a gentle kind of giving, no pressure to the other and fully understanding that this way of being is not always that easy for everybody. It is being mindful that not everyone will be in this state but still choosing to give freely. 

This way of sharing becomes second nature if we believe that all that we are longing and grasping for is right here, right now. It is not in some far away future nor has it been left behind in the past. Presence is key to fully giving. It is when we choose to embrace our current reality will we truly embody that which we strive and hope for. 

I had a lot to reflect on over the past few days with all the conversations and discussions that I was happy to be part of. It centered on various topics but these seemed to converge on the theme of striving to be well on the path towards one’s full self. This particularly resonates with me as I work towards being fully healthy so I can serve others better. 

After one of these conversations I went on a long walk just mulling over what I heard and experienced. A part of me was elated to have been part of these but another part was frustrated that I have to expend part of my energy to struggling with my eye problem instead of it being focused on what was happening . While these thoughts  flowed through my head I was surprised to bump into our first ever intern in my company. He seemed stressed but he lit up when he saw me. He was so happy that he hugged me tightly. Tears welled up in my eyes seeing how someone was so overjoyed to see me. My resolve to become fully well became so much stronger. 

Witnessing how this young boy’s spirits lifted as I shared my energy with him made me realize that a lot of people depend on me. This thought did not leave me pressured and heavy with guilt nor responsibility. It comforted me and gave me an assurance that I am where I should be but that I need to work towards being fully okay so I can take on this role with all that I am.  The call to be well is at the same time a reminder of my call to leadership and excellence. And this is the reason why I am embarking on a brief solo trip to just detox and dedicate all my energy to healing my body and my mind. I look forward to three full days of doing nothing but this. 

I spent three consecutive days last week sharing about lessons on passion and purpose. I say yes to these things even if I find myself nervous and scared because i genuinely would like to share my story in case it might resonate and hopefully inspire someone in the audience. That is what drives me to get better at it. I felt that my delivery of the message could be articulated in a much better way. 

I want to work on this. I mulled over the performance of the past few days and I couldn’t help but feel that  I could’ve done better in my presentations. I felt that I still need to clarify my message further. At first I thought it was ego and the need to look good in front of everyone. Upon careful introspection I realized that I wanted to speak with more clarity because I wanted the message get across more clearly. It is by itself the intent and I have to do my utmost to deliver it excellently. 

For this, practice and preparation are necessary, the same in running, training and life in general. There is no other way but to say yes to every opportunity to share and to speak. I believe this is part of my calling, to offer my stories wholeheartedly in the same way that I have listened intently to people as they have shared and inspired me with theirs. I’d love to take this on and vow to give more of myself in every articulation of my life lessons. 

I literally have a blind spot. My left eye has diminished vision that was caused by the string of ailments that have affected me for the past month. It’s such a downer but the good thing is that it didn’t happen together with all the past weeks’ body quirks. I’m not sure I would’ve  been able to handle it with grace.   Now that I am on a deliberate wellness journey, I’m just doing everything I can to be fully well. 

This condition has also prompted me to ponder on my blind spots.  I’ve always considered myself as a relatively self-aware individual, quite reflective and introspective. So I know that my doggone determination sometimes hovers on irrationality. When I really want something I do my darndest to achieve it. On one end it is great but I also make illogical choices as a result . I don’t get to think things through when I am fixated and could end up unhinged or imbalanced. This was how I learned to survive, hence a go to crutch even if there is a smarter and more sensible way to get at it. 

It’s good to be aware of these tendencies. We don’t brush them off entirely because these are part of our make up as an individual. Yes it opens us to vulnerability but it is also this  brokenness that makes us human. We instead embrace it and take it on squarely. One writer likens it to asking someone out for tea to have a real conversation. I like this imagery, it is one of acceptance and openness. I’ll remember to just hang out with my blind spots and impulses when they get out of hand. 

They say friendships are special because it is entirely voluntary. You are not required nor contractually bound by any agreement to be with this person. You choose to share moments and memories despite not being related by blood. You trust enough to tell her your most vulnerable details, even those you wouldn’t share with a spouse or a sibling. Friendships are precious that way.

It is also because of this reason that friendships are quite tenuous. It can just fall off if left unattended and taken for granted. Time spent on each other is the water that keeps the wellspring of friendship. There are some though that stay relatable despite the distance, standing the test of time. But really it will never be the same as it was, when time was wasted on each other. 

Friendships are also vulnerable because if it suddenly does not work out maybe because context, priorities or even perspectives have shifted we are not sure if we can just leave it altogether or just stick it out. There are no hard ties to obligate you so why would you stay. But at the same time, breaking up with a friend is not something that we often encounter. Because it entails a giving of the self, perhaps that’s the reason why I have just a handful of close friendships. I’d like to offer freely and wholeheartedly to a few than to give bits and pieces to many. To the few that I have, I am committed to sharing fully despite the time, distance and circumstance. 

Today I spent an entire day doing everything yoga. I chose to do those that I have not experienced yet as a way to fuse newness in a practice that I do almost everyday. I like these juxtapositions. I like paying attention to these things that I like. I learned this morning that this is part of tuning on to your individual frequency. I like this too.

Each one of us is an embodiment of energy and we all exude our unique vibration. It is different for each and we have to be well aware of what moves our frequency. We are solely responsible for this, ultimately in charge of what makes us happy and what imbues us with meaning. Tuning in also means taking stock of those that no longer resonate with our own. We should always ask, “Is this who I am?”. If the answer is no, then let go. Seems a little harsh but we gotta just discard anything that no longer serves our energy but depletes and leeches off it. This goes for people too. When we tune in, we say yes to those that make us happy and no to those that don’t. Seems simple but sometimes we forget our role as stewards of our wellbeing.

Taking responsibility of our frequency also means doing whatever it takes to nurture ourselves. This can come in many forms since we should deliberately choose our own self care. Part of looking after our own welfare is also acknowledging the presence of our inner critic, not pushing it away but just taking note that it is there. By doing so we treat it with respect and then can graciously deal with it. Only when we deal with ourselves this way will we truly be on the path to find our best and most authentic  selves. And what is this self? The happy self who emerges as the winner amidst the uncertainty and chaos that surround her. Now who wouldn’t want to be on this road?I’d like to sign up for this journey every single day.

A couple of days ago, I woke up with a start. It was 3am. I felt like I had a genuine eureka moment with a new idea of bringing forth my full self in all that I do.  I quickly scribbled my thoughts on a piece of paper before the inspiration escapes me. Then I suddenly remembered a project of mine from two years back. I called it the BucketlistManila Project. Revolving around the theme of creating microadventures wherever we find ourselves in, I recall pitching it to different people to just check whether it made business sense. At that time I honestly was just excited with the idea more than the business side of things.

But this most recent iteration of the project that came to me in the wee hours of the morning makes a lot of sense in the context of my current state and direction. I am in the travel business and presently experimenting with different ways to grow it. I also love to do all kinds of travel- solo trips, couple getaways, traveling with little kids, barkada excursions, business travel. I also like to share thoughts on travel. I constantly daydream about where to go and line up the places that I’d like to explore. And so I want to put together all these interests and curiosities into something worth doing. 

Hence the Happylist Project. It is essentially about making a Happylist of curated experiences easily accessible and affordable to our client base. The term “happylist” is a playful spin on the bucketlist and connotes something that you can choose to do for the sake of being happy! Now who wouldn’t want that?  It is also an experiment of using relevant and interesting  content to drive engagement and ultimately conversions.  This idea gives me so much joy because it is a manifestation that we can weave our seemingly diverse interests and passions into a wonderful and energizing intersection. Ikigai is what the Japanese call it – the juncture of passion, purpose and profit. For now I call it my happylist project. Excited to see this through. 

It’s been a habit to while away time in traffic with interesting podcasts. Yesterday was unfortunately one of those days when I find myself on the road with barely moving traffic so it’s a good thing I was entertained by captivating conversation between Shane Parrish of the Knowledge Project/Farnam Street and Adam Grant, author of Givers and Takers, Originals and Option B. Given that both men are such prolific content creators and great thinkers, you can just imagine the trove of topics that they could talk about. 

What struck me most was the discussion on balance versus harmony. We hear so much about the need to balance work, interests, family, etc. But the very act of balancing is challenging by itself, depleting the much needed willpower to pummel through our days. They propose harmony instead where one strives to see all of life as creating meaning and meaningful work. There is balance but more as an overall mindset spread over time. So in a week you have days for work, days for rest, days for family and some days may be more balanced than others. You can have focused days and also have time carved out for idle thought. It is also about choosing to do less but to do these really well.

I like this mindset. It resonates with me because I thrive in a space where there is a mix of effort and ease, stress and rest. I think this has helped me keep at things for sustained periods, avoiding burn out and fatigue. It works well too with my steady eddy personality. I guess we really have to find ways of doing things and of being in this world that works for each of us. There is no one way. For me this is what works, well at least for the time being.