Yesterday, I had the opportunity to meet and listen to a very successful Japanese businessman. He is an investor and have had various successes launching and scaling enterprises. But more than his success, what struck me was his overall philosophy about business and perhaps life in general. I only got to interact with him for a little over an hour but I was intrigued by his methods which seem to be hinged on very solid first principles. I’ve been trying to read up lately on decision making using fundamental tools and frameworks that’s why I was keen when he spoke about his business philosophies. 

He says he invests in ventures that leverages off market forces, seeing opportunities and not going against it or trying to outwit it. It is knowing that there are macroeconomics that you cannot control and focusing instead on ways that would use these to your clear advantage. It is having clarity of proposition that is hinged on a very obvious pain point. What is interesting too is how he brings mindfulness into the work that he does. He seems to be a very curious individual, self aware and world aware. And he brings this in the way he interacts, the careful way he chooses his words and more apparently in the business he invests in. He has one that is in the healthcare industry but is directed towards holistic health that includes mindfulness, habits and well being. 

I strive to be someone who also brings my full self everyday to work. I am aware that there are several facets that may not always be in agreement with each other but I think the contradiction adds to a more interesting whole. It also helps me become more compassionate and understand that there is not just one way to see things. That my lens may not always be the clearest. I hope that as a leader I get to encourage my team to do the same. I believe bringing our full selves to work will push us to be better versions of ourselves everyday 🙂 

I’m entering my eighth week of training. At the start of every program, I always feel overwhelmed and uncertain whether I can finish it, unsure if I can stick to it to the letter. Yes I’ve done so in the past but I always start with much trepidation. So I’ve learned to take it a day at a time, a week at a time. And before I know it, I’ve done seven weeks. 

Each of us have our preferred training regimen. Some like to clock in maximum mileage doing at least 100 kilometers a week, having several 30km+ long runs for the training period. Others like to combine it with multiple sports like spinning and swimming. What works best for me is a program with reduced mileage, focused effort and varied workouts. I average between 50-60 kilometers a week with four run-specific days which include interval, speed, hills, tempo and long runs. In between I spin, do yoga and a bit of strengthening exercises. I like it because I don’t feel burned out. Perhaps it is also because recovery is part of the program. 

So the coming weeks we pack in the mileage. I think I’m ready to do so. I feel that my fitness base is strong and I also don’t feel any pressure at all to finish at a certain time. Maybe this is the reason why I enjoy the training. I’m in a much more relaxed state. I actually perform better this way too, when I am able to flow and just get out of my head. Can’t wait to race but until then, we take it a week at a time. 

I feel that I’ve been on the runway for a while now. I’ve been learning stuff, experimenting, meeting people, dabbling in different experiences, acquiring skills- those are all still part of being on the runway. This is an important part because this is where we gain the momentum to lift off. But I believe it is time to take off and to start on doing the work that will take me from zero to one, from nothing into something. This applies to several facets of my life right now. 

At work, I think I’ve validated enough and all I gotta do is just execute like crazy. That is  both an exciting and scary thought. It is exciting because I get to build and see how it goes. On the other hand it is scary because I know I will fail many times over and I’m not sure if I’m fully ready for that. So I procrastinate under the guise of preparation and perfectionism. But it is time to focus and do the difficult stuff, there is no other way. It is time to lift off. 

In my running,  I’ve been showing up and doing the work. But I’d like to strive for mastery that is not based on faster times or races joined. I would like to work towards excellence that is defined by a state of flow. I long for an experience of running where time seems to stop when I hit the road. I get glimpses of this but what I would like to achieve is fully knowing how to take myself to this level mindfully every single run. Time to take off this running runway. 

In my writing I’ve been showing up everyday as well, creating something during my daily commute. This has given me much clarity. I’ve also started writing things not for anyone’s consumption but myself. Because I want to create I have also been deliberately consuming content that I am interested in so I have matter to work with. But the thing with a daily practice is that it seems like a preparation for something that needs to culminate somehow. I believe the daily writing is something in itself but I can’t seem to shake off the feeling that I can push it much further. A book perhaps? I don’t know but I do know that I hope that what I share may help others who may be going through a similar situation. I want to resonate with others and help journey with them. Perhaps the take off for this aspect is related to getting my writing outside my circle. 

In my relationships, I’ve substantially pared down so I can devote time and energy to those who really matter. I can count on one hand my closest friends. I also spend quality time with my partner and children even if we are not doing anything. But I think I can further simplify so I can focus on loving each one wholeheartedly. Being fully present to them is my way of getting off this runway everyday. 

When it comes to my relationship with myself, I think I’ve gotten much better in terms of awareness, acceptance and understanding. I’m definitely much more gentle with how I deal with who I am and have found the value that allows me to give to others and to the world. But I think that this anchoring is just the first step to explore the edges that I seem drawn to. I am scared of this shit and so I know that I have to pursue those that awaken such fear in me. I’d like to open my mind and my heart to the possibilities of being that is in me and that is out there. 

So let’s get ready and brace for take off! 

I’ve gone through different kinds of retreats and self help workshops but this last one I attended resonated so much with me. Maybe it just caught me at the right time. It’s called “Open Heart Meditation” and was conducted here in Manila by Sanuk Tandon. He flew in from Jakarta just to share with us this practice. Flew in for two people who were curious how we can find more centeredness and meaning in the lives that we lead.

As the workshop title states, it is about opening the heart, connecting with the core that is our True Source. One of the things that struck me the most was the distinction between emotions and feelings. I always thought that they are one and the same, springing from the same source. Emotions are driven by our brain contrary to belief that it comes from our heart. These negative emotions are actually blockages that prevent our heart from fully opening up and surrendering. Feelings on the other hand emanate from the heart. You sense these, it comes out as realizations  and we may sometimes treat it as our inner voice. 

The practice seems repetitive but that’s exactly how practice should be. It deepens as you keep on doing it. Relax, smile, let your heart smile, have no expectations, just stay with that- this is the general rhythm. No intense purging of emotions nor gut wrenching self reflection. Just exercises to achieve a sense of calmness. Interestingly,  I’ve always considered myself a relatively calm person but I didn’t realize that there is so much more space to be calmer and more relaxed. 

I am drawn to it because it is a meditation that allows you to be out there in your everyday world. It is not one that calls you to be a recluse or to give up everything. It is meant for people who lead regular lives. It is a call to listen, heed and do from the heart in the midst of our context and circumstances. It is choosing to be present to our heart center so we may be able to receive the grace that we seek. 

It was my daughter’s sixth birthday yesterday. She says she wants to always be a little girl. But yesterday I saw how she is now a big girl. To many people, she is such a shy and timid girl. She is quiet and when she does speak you could barely hear her. She would rather make herself small and blend with the background instead of being the center of attention. But when she is with us at home she is the spirited, outspoken and strong willed person that she truly is. 

So on the night of her birthday she suddenly insisted on sleeping on the side where her brother stays. She said just for one night. I thought maybe she just wanted to do so because it was her birthday and just wanted to do something special. But my son, who is an individual set in his ways and who wants to do things a certain way, was clearly distraught with this. He was in tears trying to dissuade her. But she stood her ground. I asked them to talk about it, trying hard not to meddle. 

Then my daughter sits up in bed, clearly worked up. She can hold her emotions pretty well until she can’t anymore. She speaks up between sobs. “I just want to be a risk taker. We talked about this in school. I want to try new things. It is good to take risks.” Such big words from a tiny girl. And so I hugged her and just held her  in my arms, whispering that it is great to take risks but then we also have to consider that doing so has consequences. I wanted to reassure her that taking risks is perfectly okay and that she should continue doing so. 

Our children really teach us some of our most important lessons. Their innocence and acceptance for what is give us a shining example of how we should be in this world. I am just happy to have them to guide me everyday as I strive to open myself up to the world unconditionally. 

I’ll be traveling for a couple of weeks this April. It’s primarily to run two marathons but just like with the previous ones I’ve done, it is the perfect excuse to explore a city. So it was just timely that this morning’s podcast featured Joshua Foer, author and founder of Atlas Obscura. This passion project started as a website that featured places that are interesting but are off the grid. Then an avid community got built around it, submitting their own discoveries. It has now bred a group of individuals whose mission is to find wonder everyday, even in the places they have lived in for their entire lives.

I want to be this kind of person who is curious to discover. I’d like to be an explorer finding nuggets of wisdom in niche places or finding nooks and passages that lead to surprising experiences. They may not all be delightful and most may be uncomfortable but doing so makes one feel alive and purposely doing. So I want to get started on an everyday mission to just wonder and ask “why” or “why not” when faced with a situation where I find myself intrigued. 

For the upcoming trip, this will be the theme too. And it seems fun to just use the Atlas Obscura as a guide to see less of the usual places. Apart from the obscurity what is interesting is the history, why these remain in the fringes of mainstream society and why they came into existence in the first place. It is a good way to learn more about a city even if you’ve already been there. It might be a fun personality indicator too, as you understand yourself with what you get curious about. So let’s be explorers everyday! 

I’m on my sixth week of training for the Boston Marathon. It’s the half way point and so far it’s been a mixed bag. Some days are good, others not as much. Today was one of those days. For some reason I could not get out of my head and felt that the entire session was an endless grind.  It didn’t help that my tummy was queasy and my hip flexor is super tight. The one hour interval training seemed longer than it actually was. I just kept at it because I’m a soldier that way. 

I could not help but notice that these are the same sensations I’ve been feeling at work. Most days are better than others and I have not been happier learning and building. But some days are just a drag. These are the days when I second guess myself, questioning whether I am capable of doing what I said I would, whether I can actually figure this shit out. My tummy goes into a knot, my mind swirls with worry and the work day just feels unusually long. These are the days that I am more busy than productive, me trying to do the little things because I’m fucking scared about the big chunks that I need to work on. But I realize that just like in running, these major things also start with a step and get done with every foot in front of each other. So I just keep at it because I’m a soldier that way. 

Our self esteem and our psyche are ultimately no one’s problem but our own.  Everyone else is trying to sort themselves out to care about your own issues. And part of being a soldier is having the artillery to arm ourselves during these times of self doubt. Our mental tool kit is our responsibility and if we would like to help others fill up their own, we can only do so by showing them and showing up everyday. Because we are soldiers that way. 

Five is one of my favorite numbers, in addition to seven and twelve. So as I was reading James Altucher’s post on the most valuable things one should know, his 5×5 rule stuck. They say that as you read or listen to something what strikes you most is what you most need at the moment. So what is this rule all about: 

• You are the average of the 5 people you spend the most time with.

• Your health is the average of the 5 foods you eat the most.

• Your mental state is the average of the 5 things you think about the most.

• Your creativity is the average of the five works of art you spend the most time trying to read or watch or understand.

• Your ability to be loved is the average of the five things you most do that are lovable.

It’s good to ask ourselves everyday what these five things are in our lives. It’s interesting to find out whether these shift over time, whether we want to be surrounded by the same people or whether the same things make our heart sing. My guess is that these change depending on our context and circumstance. But I also think that there will be underlying themes or first principles that will remain steadfast. 

Today I ran 23 kilometers on a treadmill while listening to a conversation between two of my favorite podcast hosts, Tim Ferris and James Altucher. What struck me was how good they are at asking seemingly simple questions that make people stop and ponder. One of the questions that made me pause and think was “What should I write when I feel stuck or have writers’ block?” I’d like to be more earnest about my writing and so this got me curious. The answer was, “write about what makes you angry”.

So what makes me angry? I rarely get angry but when I do I unfortunately resort to stonewalling and complete detachment. I noticed that the lack of consistency upsets me. When people say and act a certain way then completely do otherwise the next time. I had a lot of this growing up and maybe that’s why I strive for constancy. I am scared as shit that if I let a day slip not doing what I have to do then I will just not accomplish anything. I seriously think that because this was part of my history that I have to be vigilant. 

Maybe it also upsets me because I feel unsettled when I can’t read people or situations. The consistency allows me to draw certain conclusions. In a way it is wanting to have some certainty and semblance of control. It’s a good thing through that I’ve come to embrace a bit of the unknown and have gotten more comfortable with experimentation. And I think a bit of stoicism has helped, providing me with the reminder that we cannot really control other people’s consistency, only our own. 

It’s good to keep asking these questions and the other seemingly simple ones that evoke deep thought and consideration. I like it and appreciate being asked these things. I hope someday to have the courage to ask more of these questions and bake this inquisitiveness consistently in my conversations. 

Yesterday I got my third tattoo. They say that once you start getting inked you crave for more. That even after you’ve just gotten one you are already thinking of the next one. I think this has some truth to it. But I think that when you start to get one, you think about the other aspects of your being that you’d like to remember or celebrate. You become more keen to the nuances that exist within you.   So what’s the meaning of each of the tattoos I’ve got?

Tattoo #1: L’appel du vide

This French word literally translates to “call of the void”. It represents my desire to push myself to the fringes, beyond my comfort zone. It is doing so to feel alive everyday. But it is also a reminder to find an anchor and a center so I can push more freely and not lose my footing. It is a call to be more trusting and generous as I give myself more to the world. However it also is a symbol of an underlying fear to just trust and leap. I take myself to the edge but often times cannot bring myself to fully plunge. I need to be reminded of this fear and to find ways to test it everyday. 

Tattoo #2: Wildflower

I see myself as a wildflower, able to thrive in varied environments even extreme ones. These flowers when daintily placed in a pretty vase can exist against an opulent backdrop. But if left to run wild in the desert or grow with weeds, finds a way to still flourish. It represents grit and resilience but also beauty and grace. 

Tattoo #3: You are that + Lotus Flower

This line speaks of the duality and contradiction that I choose to embrace everyday. It is a call to be gentle with myself as I live with my curiosities and quirks. The lotus flower represents the tranquility that I strive to have. It is a yoga symbol and typically stands for a beautiful center. Interestingly though, something this pretty grows in a swampy and sometimes muddy environment. It is as if it chooses to exude grace despite its circumstances. The lotus is drawn in a free hand manner that ties in nicely with the theme of duality- it knows its space but remains to be fluid. 

The placement of these tattoos kinda allude to my nature as well. I placed it in areas where it becomes my choice who sees it. Or should I decide to show it, it is in a state of craziness or playfulness. The only one that gets more frequent exposure is the wildflower tattoo. I treat it as a form of everyday accessory. It is also the safest amongst the three and how I want to be perceived more by the world. 

So yeah, there is some depth to these designs and not just because they will look great in photos 🙂